


Always

by AlFair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlFair/pseuds/AlFair
Summary: He tries to keep his eyes steady to the road as he got closer to the hospital. He fights the tears that are threatening to roll down his cheeks.Once again, he takes a deep breath and tells himself not to panic.Dean is alright.Everything’s going to be alright.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Always

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Всегда](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819664) by [captainhook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhook/pseuds/captainhook)



Castiel froze, heart stopping for a second. All his happy vibe from earlier dying right away. He feels his throat drying incredibly quickly.

“Cas?”

Sam’s voice is quiet and nervous on the other line as he waits for Castiel to answer—and God he can feel the hurt in his shaky breaths, he imagines Sam’s happy and soft face being sad and devastated with watery hazel eyes.

Cas closed his eyes; it takes him at least a minute to find the courage to speak with his voice steady.

_“I’m on my way…”_

He hears Sam take a shaky breath, imaging the younger lad nodding without realizing he’s on the phone.

“Thanks, Cas…see you in a bit.” He hangs up with shaky fingers and shoves his phone in his pocket.

Castiel then realized what was happening. _What was fucking happening at this fucking moment._ He stayed calm trying to take small gentle breaths, he couldn’t afford a panic attack right now.

He grabs his coat and wallet, fighting not to panic and scream as he doesn’t find his freaking car keys.

 _Stay calm_. Everything’s going to be _okay_.

Breath _in_.

Breath _out_.

When Castiel finds them, he literally ran out of the apartment not caring about the unlocked door or the elevator. His heart is beating fast and he can feel every beat louder and louder in his whole body.

Seconds later he’s on the car, starting the engine and pulling into the road, revving fast in the dark streets of Lawrence. He can feel his phone vibrating with texts, it makes him anxious and ready to lose control and scream, the cold sweat on his hands make him grab the steering wheel harder.

 _Dean_.

Images of the man Castiel loved (loves) more than anything haunted his mind, his beautiful smile and those breathtaking green eyes he adored sparkling every time they looked at him.

 _Not_ anymore.

Dean is not _his_ anymore.

But that doesn’t mean Castiel stopped being in love. He loved Dean so much— _still does_ , it wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were gonna get married. Dean was about to propose when everything went downhill.

Well, it wasn’t Dean’s fault. It was all his, for letting him go and never agreeing for an alternative solution for them to work.

You see, when your ex-girlfriend comes back into your life pregnant and demanding you take responsibility for your actions you don’t have a lot of ways to get the hell away from the situation.

And Castiel knows Dean, his kind and good and always does the right thing even if he isn’t happy.

So, he couldn’t leave Lisa alone, and without a father for _their_ child.

Castiel couldn’t handle it, he broke up with Dean, it was too hard to be with him and watch him raising another woman’s kid.

He knows Dean didn’t agree, he said it wouldn’t affect their future and their relationship but Castiel couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t… _It hurt like hell._

So, he left a heartbroken Dean, who begged Castiel to stay to find a way…

And Castiel? All he did was to ruin the one thing that made him feel happy and loved.

He tries to keep his eyes steady to the road as he got closer to the hospital. He fights the tears that are threatening to roll down his cheeks.

Once again, he takes a deep breath and tells himself not to panic.

_Dean is alright._

_Everything’s going to be alright._

Sam told on the phone that Dean had an accident. A very serious accident with the impala, someone had run all over him without looking and crashed into Dean’s car.

He was in the ER.

The worst thing was that Dean was driving to Castiel’s place, he was coming to talk to Castiel, that’s what Sam said to him on the phone.

Dean was coming _to him._

If something happens, Castiel will never forgive himself.

He finally lets the tears fall; a heavy sob lets out his throat as Dean’s lifeless body is all he could think. _If Dean is—_

He shook his head trying to remove that horrible thought of his head and focus on the road, he was 5 minutes away.

_His heart might rip out of his chest._

When Castiel ran inside the LMH Health center, he found a nurse on the reception, her eyes met his and she smiled sympathetically after looking the condition Castiel was.

“How can I help you?”

He tried not to sob and sound shaky. “Dean W-Winchester, which room he is?”

Castiel got close to the counter, his hands in fists clenching hard as he waited patiently for the woman to tell him the information to where to go.

He could feel the depressing vibe of the hospital and his anxiety increased even more.

“Room 404, he just got out the ER, he’s stable.” The nurse confirms and gives him a small polite smile.

Some of the tension he felt dropped out, but he still couldn’t breathe easily and his heart felt heavy as hell.

“Thank you.” He whispered and stormed to the elevator to go to the second floor where the man of his life was.

Castiel rubbed his eyes, he hadn’t seen Dean in 3 months. He wonders if he changed. His heart clenches painfully when the elevator doors open. He steps out with heavy chest and once again he clenches his fists, nails digging inside his skin.

He crosses the hallway in a quick step and then his eyes fell to the people outside Dean’s room. His breath hitches when Castiel recognizes Benny, Dean’s best friend.

In Benny’s arms is curled a small redhead sniffing—Charlie. Next to them is Bobby, Dean’s uncle. When they notice him, Castiel feels a nervous shiver but manages to give them a weak smile. 

“Cas…” Bobby says as he gets up, Castiel gives him a teary smile, as he can’t control his tears now. He could collapse at any moment. He still can’t believe this.

Bobby pulls him into a hug and Castiel missed the older man so much, as much as Charlie and Benny, they all been like family to Castiel.

“Glad you made it boy.” He says as he pats his back, Bobby gave him a small smile, but he could see the red eyes the older man had.

He nodded wiping his tears quickly as he passed Bobby to greet Benny and Charlie.

“Hey brotha,” Benny gave him a small nod.

“Cas.” Charlie smiled weakly.

Castiel bend to where they were sitting and gave them both a hug, giving Charlie a kiss on the head as she closed her eyes and leaned to Benny’s embrace.

He took a shaky breath, his heart melting watching Dean’s best friends and his uncle here.

Dean’s _family_.

Is Dean still considering him as a family?

Castiel turns around, his eyes trailing to the half-close door in room 404, then he turns and meets Bobby’s eyes.

“Go see him,” he confirms nodding to the door behind them.

Castiel gives Benny and Charlie a last glance before he knocks the half-closed door quietly, his heart threatening to rip off his chest.

“Come in…”

He stepped inside, breath caught in his lungs as he glanced at Dean’s lying body on the hospital bed, heart monitor beeping steadily. Castiel feels a silent sob rushing into him.

Sam is in the chair next to the bed, he removes his palms off his face to look at Castiel, his hair falling messy in his eyes, that are red and tired.

“Cas, hey man…” Sam immediately got up and Castiel smiled affectionately at him, Dean’s younger brother was even taller now as he hugged Cas in a bear hug. _He missed Sam as much as everyone._

He felt tears rolling down his cheeks as his eyes fell on Dean’s face.

When Sam pulled away, he gave Castiel a pat and got out the room.

Castiel sat down the chair Sam was seconds ago; he bites down on his lips to refrain himself from crying again.

Dean even though has some cuts on his cheekbone and a large bruise on his temple, with messy hair and pale skin contrasting his freckles and dark eyelashes, _he looks once again handsome._

 _“D-Dean…”_ he hiccups, choking on his sob. Bringing his hands up to his face closing it with his palms.

A dull pain throbs in his chest, digging his palms into the dent of his eyes, trying to stop the sobs.

All this feels like it’s his fault. If his stupid ass didn’t leave Dean, they could work out this mess with the kid. So many nights of insomnia and tears could be saved if he wasn’t a fucking son of a bitch.

“I-I’m sorry…” Castiel suppresses a sob in his throat swiping at his face to rub the wetness away.

Dean was breathing softly, at least he looked peaceful.

Castiel sighed and pushed his chair closer to the bed, after a small fight with himself to touch Dean he carefully brushed his long fingers on the green-eyed man’s cheek gently, feeling the rough stubble.

“I-I love you…” Castiel whispered before taking Dean’s hand, kissing the rough knuckles and lying his head down to his side, closing his eyes and hearing his soft breathing and the monitor’s beeping.

“C-Cas…” Castiel hears a mumbled sound as he opens slightly his eyes. The room is darker than before as he lifts his head from the mattress, the moonlight outside brightens the interior and his vision adjusts in the room.

_“Cas…”_

He snaps his head to look at Dean, when their eyes meet, Castiel’s heart stops and then starts beating even faster.

Those green emerald eyes are looking at him back. He suppresses a sob as he lifts Dean’s hand and kisses knuckles, relieved and happy to hear that hot husky voice.

“I’m here sweetheart…” tears start rolling into his cheeks as Dean stares at him with a surprised frown drawn in his face.

_“Baby?”_ he asks curling a small smile that melts Castiel’s heart right away.

“I’m here, a-always.” He smiles teary at the old pet name, taking Dean’s hand with both arms kissing everywhere.

“I _missed_ you baby…” Dean almost whispers, voice breaking.

“Me too, _so much.”_

Dean sighs and shifts in his bed, Castiel’s heart stops watching Dean wincing from the pain.

“Where’s Sam?”

“Hey, hey… don’t move…You are fine, he’s here, with Benny, Charlie, and Bobby...you scared us.” Castiel assures getting up to stop Dean from moving.

After a couple of seconds Dean stopped and let out a frustrated breath.

He laced their fingers together, making Castiel relax a little, the tension falling off from his shoulders.

“What happened? The last thing I remember was driving to your flat…I-I needed to talk to you…”

Dean swallows.

“Some drunk asshole ran over you, it was his fault, not yours…”

Dean winces probably remembering that Baby is crushed and in bad shape from the accident.

Castiel gives him a small smile, as he watches Dean’s frustrated frown. Only Dean Winchester would be lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg and thinking about his car.

They stay in comfortable silence, Dean rubbing his palm softly looking at him with adoring eyes and Castiel can’t help but blush, he knew Dean 3 years and he never failed to make him feel like a _14 -year-old teenage girl._

“You’re here…” Dean smiles as he breaks the silence and Castiel’s heart melts and clenches at the same time.

“Of course, I’m _here_ …” Castiel fights again with tears—fuck why he’s so emotional? well more like a crybaby.

“It’s not my child…” Dean blurts suddenly, green eyes sparkling in the dark room.

Castiel froze, his lips part open from the surprise, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“W-What?”

Dean untangles their laced fingers and once again and tries to sit up on the bed, wincing once again from the pain.

Castiel sighs. Dean is _Dean._

 _His_ Dean.

“She lied to me…”

Castiel shuts his eyes closing his face with his palms again, trying to realise what Dean said.

_What the actual fuck?_

He broke up with Dean, that night was the worst night of his life because of a fucking lie and a grown-up woman who wanted to involve one of the best humans alive to a baby scam?

He suddenly felt frustrated and angry. Not with Lisa but himself. He left Dean and erased him from his mind for all this to happen. _He is indeed the worst human being._

“Hey, hey I know I’m a dumb sonuvabitch.” Dean grabbed his hands into his warm ones.

Castiel’s heart fell watching Dean stare at him with those puppy eyes and sad pout. He blamed himself for falling into Lisa’s trap.

Dean is the best human alive. _He doesn’t deserve him._

“Don’t you _dare_ blame yourself…” Castiel hisses letting a frustrated sigh. “You’re too good for me, Dean I-I don’t _deserve_ you…” His voice breaks.

Dean glares at him and kisses his palms gently. “Bullshit.”

Castiel drops his head, looking at his lap like a child failing their parents. Well, what a coincidence he indeed failed his boyfriend.

“I took a DNA test, a fucking zero percent!” Dean’s hand suddenly was holding his chin, lifting his face up.

“Tonight, I was coming to find you, to take you back…” Dean said sheepishly, uncertainty lacing his voice.

Castiel’s heart fluttered, Dean may be a 36-year-old man but sometimes he looks like a little boy with his cute pout and toothy grins.

Especially when he talks to Castiel like he talks to his high school crush.

_He adores him so much._

“But I’ll understand if y—”

Castiel grabs his face and kisses him shutting him up.

“Mmhmhm…” Dean mumbles between kisses, God, he missed the taste of him so badly, Dean's lips were dry but still so amazing ,the way he sucks his bottom lip and fuck—

“Baby...mmm.” he feels Dean’s hand on the back of his neck pushing him even closer to him, seconds later his lips were on his jaw, and then cheek and then chin, he kissed him everywhere making Castiel giggle.

He missed Dean’s touch, his lips, generally the existence of Dean freaking Winchester.

“So,” Dean pecks Castiel’s nose, “are we,” another peck on his eye, “good?” the last was on his lips.

Castiel flushed him a bright soft smile.

_“Always.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> xx Al <3


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